Guide to surviving vampire tours in Transylvania
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Loading ...Mention Transylvania and people will think one of 
two things: Count Dracula or Tim Curry in garters and a corset. Of the two, Dracula springs more readily to mind.
Transylvania is a lot more than a Mecca for the vampiric obsessed. There are mountains to climb, historic monasteries and castles to explore, rivers to sail and the Black Sea to laze beside. But, like it or not, Dracula is good for business and so, of course, there are a number of Vampire Tours that take the ghoulish and the morbid to all the Count’s favourite haunts.
Tours range from single afternoon jaunts to in-depth 10-day adventures for die-hard fans.
Some of the major attractions include:
- Sighisoara Medieval Citadel: best known as the birth place of Vlad the Impaler. A little known fact is that it’s also a World Heritage Site, owing to the fact that it’s a remarkably well preserved medieval citadel.
- Snagov Monastery: Vlad’s final (?) resting place after he was assassinated.
- Bran Castle: aka Dracula’s Castle, although it was probably only a suitably creepy looking fortress.
- Dracula’s Castle: based on the descriptions in Bram Stoker’s iconic book.
- Poienari Fortress: the Impaler’s not quite impenetrable citadel.
And no tour is complete without a vampire-themed dinner party – costumes are highly recommended.
Surviving a Vampire Tour
So, we know that vampires don’t really exist, don’t we (don’t we?)? But just to be safe, here are some pointers on how to survive a tour that has the potential to go horribly wrong:
- Eat lots of garlic: vampires are notorious for their aversion to the stuff, but even if they laugh at the peasant-like attempts to ward them off, you can just breathe on them and they’ll go away. (This has the added advantage of putting off unwanted attention from drunken and lascivious tour mates.)
Tip: if there is no garlic in the food and the establishment treats any requests for extra garlic with horror and dismay, run.
- Whittle a make-shift stake out of a random piece of wood you find lying around. Wooden stakes go undetected through metal detectors and also go through vampire hearts.
Tip: if you have the room and don’t mind the extra weight carry a hammer or mallet with you – all the better to drive your point home.
- Have a crucifix handy and see if you can sneak out some holy water from the one of the ancient churches in the country.
- Ignore any advice about silver. Silver is for werewolves, not vampires. But, seeing as how legend has the two living in the same space (or at least locked in war in the same space), it might be a good idea to invest in some silver jewellery for the trip.
- Look out for unduly pale people, especially if they tend to keep to the shadows. Transylvania is actually quite a sunny country, so there is no excuse for residents not to have a healthy bronze tone to their skin.
- Look out for people who don’t eat at meal times and who don’t snack. The undead don’t eat food because they can’t digest it. Keep a weather eye on any overly picky eaters in your tour group.
- Don’t go anywhere alone. Learn the lessons so abundant in celluloid and print. Never separate from your group. It doesn’t matter how curious something is, or how beautiful or how enticing, if no one else is interested, leave it alone.
- Keep an eye out for freshly disturbed earth, especially if it looks grave-shaped. You could have stumbled onto the resting place of a creature of the night. Sprinkle the ground with holy water and back away.
- Make friends with any perky blonde girls in the group, especially if they don’t look like they could hurt a fly. They could be blessed with awesome vampire slaying powers.
- Start a training regime before you go with particular focus on cardio. When the time comes you want to be able to run, a lot.
(Image by Vectorportal, CC by 2.0, via Flickr)
Filed Under: Travel Guides
